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07 May 2008 @ 03:44 pm
 "SAVAGE STREETS - Where the only rule is 'an eye for an eye.'" 

Meet the 'Satins' - a gang of streetsmart senior-year girlfriends lead by tough Brenda (Linda Blair). The girls; Maria, Stella, Stevie, Rachel and Brenda's best friend Francine are out to have fun rather than cause trouble. But one night whilst looking after Brenda's mute sister Heather and hanging out along Hollywood Boulevard, the Satins run into a gang of ruthless punks - the 'Scars'. Heather is almost run down by the gang - Fargo, Red, Vince and leader Jake - in their flashy convertible. The Satins are furious with the gang and demand an apology, but the Scars couldn't care less and drive off into the night. Later on, the girls spot the convertible parked at the side of the road and decide that it's about time for some payback - they steal the car and end up leaving it trashed. By this point, leader of the Scars, Jake, is furious.

Soon after at school, it is nearing the end of the day and Brenda and the girls are working out in the gym. Outside the Scars are lingering, causing trouble as usual, until they spot Heather headed towards the gym and, realising she was involved in the trashing of their car, hatch a sickening plan for revenge.

Class is over and Brenda and the girls hit the showers, with Heather left alone in the deserted gymnasium. She is then approached by Scars member Red, who tricks the deaf & innocent girl until she realises something is wrong and attempts to make a run for it. The other gang members, however, are waiting at every exit. They grab her and drag her away, and by the time the girls come to meet her she is nowhere to be found.

It is then that Maria finds an unconcious, bruised and bloodied Heather in seperate shower cubicles - where she was left by the vicious Scars after raping her. She is taken to hospital immediately and Brenda is distraught when told her sister might not make it through.

The Satins then end up in a local bar, trying to figure out how to get any kind of justice for Heather. They realise that nobody but themselves are going to want to get involved and Brenda vows revenge on the culprits - without knowing they are sitting across from them in the bar. Later on, the Scars spot Francine and grab her, she struggles to get away and with the help of a switchblade, cuts Jake's cheek.

The next day the girls plan to meet up after school, with Francine off to get her wedding dress beforehand. When walking to meet them, she is spotted by the Scars, who drive after her across a bridge. She tries to escape the gang but with no luck - Jake grabs her, screaming, and throws her to her death.

With her sister in hospital and best friend dead, Brenda snaps. Armed with beartraps and a crossbow (and leather catsuit!), she sets out on a bloody vengeance battle, and straightens things out once and for all between her and the Scars.

VHS box:

"The streets could be wild and dangerous and the kids had to be tough enough to survive. Linda Blair is Brenda the leader of a gang of street wise girls the 'Satins' hell bent on a little fun that occasionally gets out of control.

They clash with the 'Scars', a ruthless and fearsome gang lead by the masochistic Jake who becomes insanely enraged when the Satins demolish his car.

The brutal murder of Francine, Brenda's lifelong friend and the savage rape of her sister trigger a terrible beserk fury in Brenda and an even more terrifying thirst for revenge. The Scars are about to discover the meaning of - Savage Streets."

Savage Streets is a complete low budget '80s exploitation gang flick. The soundtrack is great and matches well with the action. You'll definately want to cheer the brilliant Linda Blair on, her coming out with lines like; "Too bad you're not double-jointed.. because if you were, you'd be able to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!".

This is trash of the hilariously brilliant sort. If you're in need of some ideas for a bit of revenge, you'll get plenty from this one!


Gangs are bad, kids! Tuff Turf [1985], 3:15 [1986], Class of 1984 [1982], The Wraith [1986].
07 May 2008 @ 03:41 pm
 "It took a little danger, a little romance, a big 'gamble', and a lot of luck to get them this far.."

Welcome to 18 starts and we meet best girl-friends Lindsey (Courtney Thorne-Smith), Joey (Mariska Hargitay) and Robin (JoAnn Willette). School is over and the girls decide to have an adventurous summer together; they raise their glasses to 'freedom and fun' and are then off in their convertible to Lake Tahoe, where summer jobs await them.

The three end up at a ranch, which at first sight seems like the perfect summer vacation. But as soon as they are assigned their jobs, Lindsey, Joey and Robin all begin to wish they had stayed at home. After a long week of hard work and no play, the girls wait with anticipation for their wages. This turns out to be the last straw, however, when they each are paid a measley amount, and so the three pack up and leave.

With nowhere to go and barely any money for a room elsewhere, the girls deliberate over what to do. Robin convinces Joey and Lindsey that she knows the perfect place - they take her word for it and drive out there. Soon they turn up at a flashy lakeside house belonging to two guests Robin had met at the ranch, Talia and boyfriend Roscoe. The couple let them stay, and soon the girls and new best friend Talia are having a total blast.

It's not long before Roscoe has fixed the girls up with fake IDs in order for them to work at a local casino to earn some money. This allows them to move out of Talia and Roscoe's place and into a small cabin, where they are neighbour to outrageous transvestite Fuschia. Things seem to be going great until the girls are invited to a party at Roscoe's and it gets busted by cops. They are arrested on prostitution charges and thrown in a cell for a good few hours until Roscoe agrees to pay their bail money. Once let out, they are given an ultimatum; pay up and get out of town or else.

Then one night, Talia turns up at their place bruised and bleeding and the girls realise that Roscoe is nowhere near as nice as they once thought. Lindsey then decides that she can win Roscoe his money back in a card game - thanks to learning some tricks in the casino - and the girl's convince Talia to leave with them once they've paid up.

Will Lindsey win back his money? Will Talia leave with them? And more importantly, will they get revenge on hard-man Roscoe?

VHS box:

"Fresh out of high school and eager to find love and adventure, Lindsey, Joey and Robin take off for a summer job at Lake Tahoe.

Soon disillusioned with the backbreaking work, low pay and lack of romance the girls leave. With the help of their streetwise friend Talia, they obtain phoney ID's, a job in the local casino and a room in the town's most undesirable motel, where their neighbour is Fuschia, a transvestite who stands 6'4" without his heels.

Talia's boyfriend, Roscoe, uneasy with the trio around invite them to one of his 'special' parties where they are arrested on charges of prostitution. He agrees to pay their bail on one condition - they pay up and get out of town. Determined to be out of his debt, Lindsey sets out to win the money in the hottest poker game since Calamity Jane won a cathouse in a game of five card stud."

In many ways this movie reminds me of Modern Girls, the friendship between the three girls, the fashions - even made in the same year. The scene above is very similar to the 'getting ready' scene at the beginning of Modern Girls, too, and both have awesomely '80s soundtracks.

I would say that I probably prefer Welcome to 18 over Modern Girls; but both are really fun movies and serve as complete and utter time capsules. Don't take it seriously - after all, when are summer vacations meant to be serious?


Girls just wanna have fun!; Modern Girls [1986], Where the Boys are '84 [1984], The Vals [1982], Shag [1989], Satisfaction [1988], The Allnighter [1987], Pink Lightning [1991], Girls Just Want to Have Fun [1985], Private School [1983], The Princess Academy [1987], Pretty Smart [1987].
07 May 2008 @ 03:36 pm
 "It's not just a man's world anymore." 

Tomboy begins with Besty Russell, or, Tommy, waking up in her sporty, boyish bedroom. Once the obligatory b-movie shower scene is out the way, she's off to work for the day as - you guessed it - a car mechanic!

A high-flying millionaire then comes to pick up his flash car (which, with Tommy being the genius that she is, repaired herself). When he arrives, he turns up with none other than the pin-up car racing champ that Tommy adores: Randy Starr.

Once they've met briefly, Tommy leaves to meet up with best friend Seville who is busy in a dance audition - possibly one of THE campest '80s dance scenes, aside from a couple of others not worth mentioning. Another shower scene is chucked in (since when were male and female shower rooms joined together?!) and afterwards Tommy & Seville go and hang out in a bar.

Next comes a very unconvincing speech from Betsy about how 'you shouldn't depend on anyone other than yourself'. The cuteness is cut short, however, when her and Seville are hit on by a couple of leery guys, who chase them out of the bar. There's then a whole chase sequence, with the girl's on Tommy's motorbike and the guy's behind in their car.

Seville tries her best shot at fame but only ends up in a raunchy donut commercial. She thinks she's going places, that is, until she is paid for her work in donuts!

Meanwhile, the girls are getting friendly with Randy Starr and his millionaire pal at a party, where Tommy & Randy of course end up getting it on.

Soon after, Tommy hears about an upcoming race and bets Randy she can beat him. She decides to soup-up her own race car and enter despite the fact Randy Starr is a total pro. Can she beat him? You better believe it!

VHS box;

"Pretty teenager Tomasina 'Tommy' Boyd does all the things that pretty teenage girls aren't supposed to do. She rides motorcycles, she plays basketball and she works as an ace mechanic repairing racing cars in a friend's garage. When a handsome racing idol awakens her romantic interest, he also awakens her competitive desires. And in a thrilling winner-take-all racing match for a million dollar sponsorship contract, Tommy comes up with her own customized racing car and sets out to prove that it's not just a man's world anymore.."

Ick ick ick! And we'd like to thank Crown International Pictures for putting us through this terrible ordeal of a movie. I'm sure the 'actors' would also like to thank them for killing their careers. Dear me. And, THE HAIR?!?

It wouldn't have been such a bad flick if it hadn't been so snoozeworthy - I almost dropped off on a couple of occasions. Granted, I couldn't stop laughing at certain (unintentionally hilarious) points, but GAH. Puhh-leasee. Other than the dance scene, it has to be the lowest of the low when it comes to '80s teen movies. Well done, Tomboy! I am about to dish out my first ever 3/10 to you. So, here it is.


Crown International Pictures wants to melt your brain and eat it for dinner; Jocks [1987], Weekend Pass [1984], My Tutor [1983], The Beach Girls [1982], The Virgin Queen of St. Francis High [1987].