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07 May 2008 @ 03:50 pm
Surf II [1984]  
 "The end of the trilogy!" 

Crazed nerd Menlo Schwartz (Eddie Deezen) wants revenge. Revenge on the surfer dudes who decided to play a cruel practical joke back in high school, and spike his soda with god-knows-what. From that day onwards, Schwartz vowed to get his own back on surfer kids near and far, hatching a plan that only an evil nerd genius would come up with.

After transforming his girlfriend - the nerdiest girl in the school - into the gorgeous 'Sparkle' (by taking off her glasses), Schwartz is one step closer to surf-dude domination. Using her to lure pothead surfers to his underwater lair, he forces them to drink his chemical concoction, 'Buzzz Cola'. It's not long before several surfers are terrorizing locals, with Buzzz Cola turning them into garbage-chomping punk rock zombies, with a sweet tooth for motor oil and fish carcases.

Mayhem continues until fellow surfster Chuck (Eric Stolz, of all people) and his best mate Bob discover that something is wrong. Suspicions point towards the toxic sludgefest that is Buzzz Cola, and the two enlist the help of their determined but mad science teacher Beaker to crack the case. Luckily, Schwartz's reluctant sidekick Sparkle decides to help the guys out too, spilling the beans about his plans for world domination and the true horror behind Buzzz Cola.

The unlikely four rush off (in their home-made convertible!) to find Chuck and Bob's parents, where they find their dads selling crate upon crate of Buzzz. Try as they might to convince their parents that the drink is turning kids into zombie punks, the grown-ups won't have any of it.

Eventually, Schwartz's plain is foiled and he is washed up on the beach and thrown in the back of a cop car. After greedily refusing to stop selling Buzzz because of their enormous profits, Bob and Chuck's dads end up getting a taste of their own medicine, and everyone lives happily ever after.

VHS box;

"Surf 2 begins where other movies leave off.. as the Surf Wars continue when a screwy mad genius pollutes the ocean with Buzz Cola, a concoction that threatens to turn all surfers on the coast into Surf Punks, a mindless crew led by Schwartzer. In true blue American fashion, Chuck, Cindylou, Lindysue, Chief of Police (Lyle Waggoner), the high school science teacher and the entire Town Council go to war against Sparkle, Queen of the Punks (Linda Kerridge) and Schwartzer for control of Surf City.. or control of anything!

It's dynamite fun in the sun, featuring the soundtrack of The Beach Boys, Split Enz, Stray Cats and many more. This movie is so far out of sight, it gives insanity a bad name!"

The best part of the whole movie has to be the Buzzz Cola jingle at the beginning..

No matter what the menu, Buzzz makes every meal complete. We gaurantee that it can wash out anything you eat.

But after those first 30 or so seconds, get ready for a brain freeze, 'cause just about every scene is either unfunny, repulsive, idiotic or just plain bad.

But wait! It isn't an endless downward spiral with Surf II, oh no. Us viewers must thank it for a few reasons; we get to listen to some more than half-decent tunes over a one and a half hour period. A handful of new wave bands, with a sprinkling of the Beach Boys, of course to have a dig at the various beach party and surf movies that Surf II tries too hard to spoof.

Secondly, we can feast our eyes on what my good friend Tommy Salami rightfully describes as "the lowest form of life in 80's movies" - the zombified surf 'punks' (complete with safety-pinned wetsuits and too much black and white face make-up).

And lastly, we should thank it for the fact that, despite what the title implies, we were only subjected to one of these movies.


If you liked this movie, you'd be pretty much content with watching anything.